By: Tia Chapo
For most of my adult life I have thought Valentine’s Day is
the most ridiculous holiday ever. No, seriously it is. Josh can tell you that
for as long as we’ve been together (15 years) I have never been a huge fan of
this holiday. I know, I know, it sounds
crazy right???
Hear me out before you jump to conclusions.
Firstly, I should mention that just because I am not a fan
of Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean that we don’t celebrate it. We do, as a family,
however even before Livy & B Man, we celebrated, but not on some grandiose
level. In fact, Josh knows if he gets me flowers on Valentine’s Day or spends a
ton of money I am going to be pissed.
Why? Because let’s be honest, marketing professionals are
smart. Prices are completely jacked up for Valentine’s Day. That dozen roses
that you could normally purchase for $15 is now $50 (HELLO!!!), chocolate is
more expensive, dinner reservations are hard to find, cheap ass stuffed animals
are more expensive, heck diamonds might be more expensive… I wouldn’t know
because I’ve never looked for jewelry for Valentine’s Day, but bottom line is
that almost everything costs more or there is more hassle for one freaking
day!!!!!!
Which leads me to my next point, one that I say all the
time, “You should NOT be showering me with love one single day out of the year.
That does not mean that you can be a jerk, or not appreciate me, or our
relationship, the other 364 days of the year.” Not that Josh is that guy,
because he’s not, but you get my point right? One day does not define a
relationship. You should show your love & appreciation for each other all
year long. If you only show your love
& appreciation one day a year, then I wish you the best of luck, but that’s
not how I (& I’m sure many of you) operate. Let me explain…
These acts of love don’t need to be huge or grandiose. Every
once in a while it’s nice, but do it on your time, not because Hallmark tells
you to. Celebrate & spoil your partner when you know they need it most or
because you truly want to. When one of you is struggling with something,
working hard, needs a break or just because you want to. That will have a
bigger impact on both of you & your relationship.
It can be something as simple as letting your partner sleep
in for an extra few hours, making breakfast in bed, or a weekend getaway.
When you want to be spontaneous, it can be a lunch date, an
unexpected gift, a girl’s night, a date night, letting them go to bed early,
pampering, etc. When you want to go all
out it can be a weekend away, something they've been wanting, etc. Showing your
love everyday can be a text, warming up their car, a movie night at home, just
listening to what’s on their heart, cooking dinner, doing the dishes, making
coffee so it’s ready when they get up… Am I getting the ball rolling
here????
The little things you do daily matter too, little things
make a big difference. Thanking your partner for something they’ve done (I am
so thankful when Josh does the dishes… I HATE doing the dishes & he knows
it, because I thank him profusely. ;)), texting them throughout the day when
you think of them, making sure they don’t forget something, showing affection,
all of these small things matter. They
are the foundations of a great relationship.
Knowing your partner’s Love Language is also
key to knowing how to spoil your partner. I love gifts just as much as the next
person, but if you want to truly show me you love me, acts of service (remember
those dirty dishes???) is the path you want to take.
So what do we “do” for Valentine’s Day then? We stay in,
cook one of our favorite meals, or build your own pizza, watch movies, play
games & indulge in dessert as a family. Then go on a date night later on in
the month (if we haven’t gone in the days leading up to it), just the two of
us. We usually get the kiddos something
small, like books, and give them cute cards, we still make the day special (I
mean we aren’t total jerks), we just don’t go crazy over the top or broke
professing our love for each other on one day, we spread our love around, all
year long & you should too. ;)
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